ihateplumbers

On Monday morning at 9am, when students are in classes, a chime goes off.

A familiar chime to any student from Hope's Peak Academy.

The voice everyone expects does not appear afterward, however. That is, perhaps, the only good thing to come from this.

( DR Spoiler Thing Happens )

I swear half of Bowser's posts are OOC junk like this. SORRY.

( Someone should save Parakarry and Watt's parents. )

After neither Parakarry nor Watt showed up for morning exercises as is required by their contracts which they totally legally signed last week when they were totally in full control of their faculties, Bowser decided to inform them of his displeasure.

The following letters were delivered to Parakarry and Watt this afternoon.

Due to your traitorous insubordination by not showing up for morning exercises, have been labeled as a deserter.

You have one day to show up to daily exercises and receive your orders before direct action is taken against you.

Signed,

Bowser Koopa XIII

((OOC: HEY HELENA AND KATIE. BOWSER IS PLANNING TO KIDNAP PARAKARRY'S PARENTS AND WATT'S MOM IF THEY DON'T SHOW UP TOMORROW. DO YOU AGREE WITH THIS????))

[The 5 o'clock news on Monday the 10th of January had a shocking live report of a downtown disturbance being caused by one certain Captain Falcon that will eventually as we are currently logging it eventually became some sort of bizarre, confusing battle to the death (okay not quite). Maybe you saw it. Maybe you didn't. But you probably heard about it the next day.]

[And speaking of that next day! The morning of Tuesday the 11th of January there is a koopa troopa standing outside of Captain Falcon's office. Standing there. Holding a letter. Waiting for Captain Falcon to show up. He will be waiting there until he does.]

After watching all of you fall over yourselves in trying to not die got boring, I decided to go back home for awhile and spend the weekend with Junior.

We had a wonderful time shoving around the servants and eating things that weren't fake poisoned. We messed around with some of his older siblings, too. Morton ended up locked in the dungeons for a few hours. But it's Morton, like that's a surprise.

Hey, Greenstache, just want you to know my son could beat up your son.

Oh wait, you've never even touched a woman before, have you? My mistake, so sorry.

ATTENTION CLASS: We're going to go on a field trip. A week from Tuesday, 7pm. I don't care what else you're doing, you're going. If you don't show up, you fail. Girls in ballgowns, boys in tuxes. If you show up in jeans, you fail. If you show up in a sundress, you fail. If you're too poor to afford a tux or a ballgown, you fail. We're going to experience some culture.

[Private Level 4 to Kamek]
I need you to send some men to take over an opera house a week from Tuesday.

( Vaguely NSFW pictures within )
[Bowser is in the cafeteria, slowly turning in circles with a terrified look on his face, he holds a now empty paper cup, having spilled it all over the floor. Occasionally he dry heaves into the cup, then tips out, though nothing is in it by this point.]

I'm sick of this place. I'm going to take a couple of weeks off.

I think maybe I'll go to space. I haven't been there for awhile. Stars. Planets. Power Stars. Limitless power. Such a charming locale. Maybe I'll take Junior. And make a new galaxy again, with me as its center.

Kamek, make sure Wendy, Iggy and Lemmy don't kill each other while I'm gone.

General Guy, make sure Wendy, Iggy and Lemmy don't kill Kamek while I'm gone.

Wendy, Iggy, Lemmy. If you listen to Kamek I'll bring you back something nice if I ever come back to this stupid school.

Lash you're teaching demolitions now, aren't you? I'll see if there are any interstellar explosives laying around.

Greenstache: I'll also see if there are any interstellar explosives laying around for you, too.

In case I see Captain Douchebag, is there anything you'd like me to tell him, Samsam?

((OOC: Derp. Looks like somebody is off-screen endbossing Superior Mario Twins Galaxy Station Planet 2: Eclectic Boogaloo. Soki, feel free to have Luigi run off in a crying, tearful mess to try and stop him. Bowbow will be back in a week or two, pissed off at the world for everything.))

Kamek showed up a couple of days ago, blathering on about something, I don't know what.

So I decided to come back, if he was going to be flying around the castle sticking his nose into things, to get away from him.

And anyway, the potion regrew all of my hair

General Guy, Kamek tells me he left you in charge of my children while he was gone? He should know better than to fob off his duties onto other minions I've given jobs to. But I trust they didn't do anything too terrible to you in the meantime?

Lemmy, Iggy, Wendy, were you... manageable for General Guy?

I didn't bring back any gifts this time, so don't even bother asking for one. You can have $100 each and buy your own present. And this offer's only good for my own kids, any other students try asking for a hundred bucks and they're liable to get punted down the hallway.

And since it seems that both the old English teacher, and now the Creative Writing teacher are gone, my next class will be on the delicate sensibilities of and courtly art of poetry. I used to teach the English classes at this dump, I can at least pick up the slack that the other faculty can't manage.

::The 'no gifts' line is a slight lie. There is one present. It is a bottle of calamine lotion. Made out of asbestos. Shaped like a bee. Delivered to Captain Stick-Up-His-Ass::

Kamek can you make a hair growth potion or something? Can you make hair grow?

Also, can you find someone for Lemmy to steal from so he can get some money for Christmas?

I WILL FIND YOU.

AND I WILL BURN YOU.

I CAN STILL BREATH FIRE.

I LEARNED THAT WHEN I WAS LIKE FIVE.

ALSO NOTE:

GREEN DONKEY, YOU KNOW WHAT'S COMING.

ALSO ALSO NOTE:

PLUMBERS SUCK.

ALSO ALSO ALSO NOTE:

KAMEK I WANT A COOKIE.